At some point, in any relationship, foul words are thrown and many vile looks are given. There are some sentences that put every romantic relationship at risk, especially if said repeatedly.
In the book “The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work”, relationship expert John Gottman outlined the things that lead invariably to break-up. The three major factors that predict a clear end to an otherwise satisfied relationship were named the ‘4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse’ by the author.
1. Phrases of critique
The purpose of any relationship is to confront the problem, not to criticize the other person.
You never pay attention to what I have to say!
You always forget to throw out the garbage!
You’re the type of person who holds on too tight to friends!
This type of criticism doesn’t keep a relationship healthy and it does not determine who is right and who is wrong. There is no right or wrong, there are only personal choices we make regarding relationships.
Rather than blaming your partner, talk about how those actions make you feel. Pinpoint the behavior not your partner.
2. Phrases of despise
To just state the obvious, name calling, mockery or sneering are the most grueling words that can end a relationship in a second.
Rolling your eyes or the petty curl of the lip are definitely a turn off for you both.
3. Phrases of aloofness
These do not include actual sentences because it is mostly about giving the silent treatment or the ice-cold look.
This is not doing any good to your relationship, it may seem like a neutral strategy for avoiding conflict but instead it promotes conceit, disconnection and even separation.