There is this rampant belief in our modern society that real love is about rainbows and butterflies or that relationships just happen overnight. Because of the soulmate factor, we have been conditioned to think love requires no work, no effort. We have been taught that love is sweet, that it takes us higher and higher. But that’s only part of the truth.
Reality tells us love is also pain, and struggle. It can bring the best in you and at the same time send you on a downward spiral. It can motivate us to be better and kinder human beings, but it can also turn us into cold monsters.
Reality also tells that healthy solid relationships do not exist in a vacuum. And you certainly can’t snap your fingers and make them happen because it just doesn’t work that way. They require time and patience – these are the seeds that will make your love blossom.
And when you love someone, when you care for them deeply, you don’t just walk away. You don’t quit at the first sign of drama or because of a stupid disagreement; you don’t let the other person go when it stops being convenient to you. As difficult as it may be, you must first decide it is still worth the fight and fight. You stay and you make it work, even if you have to talk things through day and night.
Nothing worthwhile is ever achieved easily – it demands our full attention, care and patience.
When you are in love, you learn to accept compromises for the sake of the relationship. You don’t need to give up your values or lose your individuality in the process. But you listen to the other as well and do whatever it takes to solve your issues. It will be tough, there is no doubt about that.
There will be drama, anger, sorrow, tears, frustration and maybe even lack of hope. But you know that you two are strong enough to overcome anything will come your way, as long as you still have each other. So instead of throwing everything away because of one tiny error, you sit and talk. You hear what the other has to say.
When you genuinely care for this person, you stick with them.
You do everything in your power to keep them close. You can’t just abandon them when they are at their worst because of selfishness or cowardice. You scream, you cry, but you don’t walk away as if you were never friends in the first place. As if there is nothing else to be done. And then come back when things are well again.