We all agree that everyone has needs and that we are allowed to express them. But somehow, we jump at the opportunity to call some people “needy”. Why is that?
A person who has been called “needy” several times is entitled to ask: “Why aren’t my needs acceptable, while other people’s are?”
The answer lies in a better understanding of your needs and adopting a better way to express them. Here are some tips and tricks to confidently express them without being needy.
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1. Identify your true needs
Getting to know and admitting your true needs is an important first step. The best way to do that is to allow yourself to be sincere. But this kind of introspection takes time and should take place in times of calm and serenity, not when you are angry or sad.
2. Express your needs calmly and clearly
Before you express them to the people around you, make sure your needs are not only genuine, but also realistic. You can’t expect your friends to drop everything and come to your rescue every time you feel blue. On the other hand, your need for emotional support when you go through a rough time is a legitimate need that you should express. Do it calmly and clearly and make sure you don’t come across as demanding or entitled!
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3. Stand your ground
It’s important to remain firm in the recognition of your own needs. Once expressed, if the other doesn’t seem to be too thrilled, don’t take it back. Otherwise, people may think that all you wanted was attention, that your needs were not real or could be disregarded.
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But maybe the most important thing you can do for yourself is to try to meet your own needs, as much as possible. Give yourself the support, the care and the understanding you crave from others and don’t make them responsible for your happiness. Because they are not, no matter how much they care for you. Please, share this!
