When a relationship comes to an end, it’s difficult to say who is to blame. Maybe we should not assign blame at all. After all, nothing lasts forever. This being said, one of the worst way to end a relationship is to make the other feel unlovable. Even worst, it’s to continue to stay in a relationship while making the other feel small and hard to tolerate.
You are too sensitive. You think too much. You’re not exciting enough. These are the kind of things people hear that can cause a permanent wound. If your partner says these things to you on regular basis, you might begin to believe them. And then you really become that person. When you internalize this kind of judgement about yourself, something dies inside yourself. So you try less, you express yourself with fearful caution, you become reluctant to act as you are.
The difficult truth is that if your partner says these things to you, he or she is trying to manipulate you. To make you dependent on their approval. To tie your self-image to their perception of you. And because you trust and feel connected to that person, you begin to forget who you are and begin to see yourself as this fragile, powerless being who can only be tolerate with great effort.
In reality, nobody is hard to love.
OK, there are the sociopaths and the psychos of this world, who can really challenge your compassion. But if you haven’t killed anybody lately, then you deserve love. Anybody who is trying to convince you otherwise is actually showing you their incapacity to connect, to feel and to live harmoniously with another person.
It’s not easy to let go of somebody who have been a part of your life for a long time. But if they don’t believe in you and don’t cherish you, if they make you feel like any scrap of affection is a generous offer from their part, mutual love is out of the question. But because they corroded your sense of self, your confidence and even your self-love, you question your every move. And liberating yourself from this kind of toxic relationship is a big move. But it’s one that can reshape your life.
Being alone is better than being stuck in a relationship that sucks the life out of you. You are worthy of love. Don’t forget that! Please share this!