There’s no escape from toxicity. Everyone has dealt with toxic people in their lives at one point or another. But there are some of us who noticed there’s a pattern. Who feel like whatever they do, they can’t escape dealing with a toxic relationship.
Of course the one at fault here is the toxic person, but since it’s a relationship, it usually takes two people involved. So is there something in particular we do on a subconscious level that ends up attracting these people in our life? The answer is yes. Here’s where you may begin to question your actions and start breaking free from any toxic relationship.
1. You give anyone the benefit of the doubt
You are guilty for simply seeing the good in everyone. But giving toxic people the benefit of the doubt will only cause pain and disillusion.
2. You are too nice
Being too nice makes one the perfect target for manipulative assholes. It’s like yin and yang. Your kind, polite and understanding nature create the perfect environment for toxic people to thrive. And basically take advantage of you.
3. You are a fixer or an enabler
You have a thing for damaged people. We get it. But being a soul mender will usually mess up with your own. So don’t go there. Wishful thinking will not turn narcissistic people into fairies over night.
4. You are their hope of change
The truth is toxic people secretly crave to be changed, saved. They crave whatever it is that you have and they don’t. That’s why this dynamic “works”. They may be aware of their bad behavior and want you to change them for the better. Like helping them come to the light. The truth is this rarely works.
5. You have given up on love
If you have given up on the idea of ever finding love, then you are more prone to remain in a toxic relationship. And accept what it’s doing to you. Someone with a healthy vision of love and lasting relationships will walk away from it asap.
6. You are too compassionate and empathetic
This makes perfect sense because toxic people lack empathy and so they seek it in you. And you give them all the attention they need and want.
7. You are a good listener
Toxic people love nothing more than someone who would be willing to listen to them talk about themselves for hours. Because you are an excellent listener, you automatically draw people who like to talk. And who will release their bad energy and put it on your shoulders.
8. You don’t value yourself enough
This is probably the most important aspect there is. You can be an easier target for toxic people when you are not very self-confident. The quite ironic thing is that toxic people need you because they have low self-esteem too. But don’t make excuses for people who take you for granted. Stand up for yourself and you will attract the right people.
9. You don’t have healthy boundaries
You are the kind of person who will neglect yourself and your needs for the sake of others.
10. You stay in toxic relationships for too long
A toxic person will always look for that person who will put up with a lot of crap. Don’t let them think they can do that to you. You can end it and rebuild your self-confidence.