Most of the times, we are so concerned with saving our romantic relationship, we don’t realize that our partner is acting the way they are acting because there’s a deeper issue with which they are struggling.
One type of attachment that can cause a lot of trouble in a relationship is what the psychologist call “anxiety attachment”. This is the kind of behavior that can be very confusing, since the partner that has this type of problem can change their feelings about the relationship from one day to the other. They go from wanting to spend all the time in the world with their partner to wanting out of the relationship in matter of days.
This kind of instability is caused by one of the partners’ struggle with anxiety. Since they don’t know if the other is going to be there for them as they would need them to be, they either cling too much or want to be the first getting out from the relationship.
Another type of problem related to anxiety is avoidant attachment style. This kind of problem is caused usually by parental neglect during the childhood years and it manifests as mistrustful behavior and attitude. As a consequence, the partner suffering from it won’t let their significant other get to close to them and they won’t share their feelings and thoughts. They fear that the other won’t accept or understand them, so they create a barrier as a protective shield.
Both types of attachment style can lead to conflict and relationship dissatisfaction. If the relationship is exceptionally strong, the partners may overcome the problem by themselves. In any other cases, they need and should consider professional help. Please, share this!