3 Essential Lessons You Need To Learn If You’ve Ever Been In An Abusive Relationship

There are many ways a relationship can be abusive. It can be mentally, emotionally or physically abusive. But once the label “abusive” sticks, what should you do? How can you heal?

In order not to repeat an endless cycle of abusive relationships, you need to learn some lessons. That’s not to say in any way that you deserved the abuse you’ve suffered or that you’ve asked for it. You can not control how many narcissists, psychopaths or sociopaths you’ll encounter in the future. But you can control your reactions to them.

MORE: 6 Clues You Are In An Abusive Relationship

Here are some of things you need to learn:

1. You deserve love

One of the things people in abusive relationships tell themselves is that they deserve the abuse. This is somehow easier than to admit you have no control over what happens to you. But once the idea that you are unlovable becomes a part of you, you won’t be able to love yourself, which is the biggest loss you’ll ever suffer.

MORE: 3 Amazing Things That Will Happen To You After Ending An Abusive Relationship

2. There’s nothing wrong with you

An essential part of an abusive relationship is the fact that your partner convinced you that everything is your fault. That there’s something essentially wrong with you. Of course they did, how else would they justify their behavior? In reality, you have qualities and flaws. Just like everybody else. You are not the worst person in the world. You probably are a decent person that needs love and understanding.

MORE: Here Is Why People Stay In Abusive Relationships

3. You are not a victim

In a sense, you are a victim. And you shouldn’t be ashamed to say so. The abuser should be ashamed, not you. But try to remember that while you might have been victimized for a while, this does not define you. You are not your scars. You are not your trauma.

You shall rise again. Please, share this!