There’s one golden rule in relationships: no matter how well two people get along, there cannot be harmony at all times. Some conflict is a natural part of any relationship, however difficult it may be sometimes.
Imagining we will be with someone with whom we’ll never fight is a pretty unrealistic expectation. So since we cannot erase conflict completely, we can learn to argue well. Because after all, relationships are not about all bliss and harmony, they’re also about being able to resolve conflicts.
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The most important thing to remember is that you and your partner are both committed to the same cause: you want love and harmony.
Here are the rules you need to remember to argue well:
1. Respond instead of reacting
There’s a big difference here and knowing about it will change your relationship for the better. When you simply reply, you have control over what you’re saying and your emotions. Reacting means you have lost your ability to control your impulses.
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It’s not as easy as it sounds, as we know, but next time you feel angry, you might want to take a deep breath first and then choose to respond calmly.
2. Take a step back
Stepping away for a bit from the situation at hand can make a significant difference. When things get really heated, there are slim chances that things will take a positive turn. Most likely, it’ll end up pretty badly. Unless you decide to simply take a moment.
Tell your partner that you wish to discuss the matter later and do something else in the meantime. Something that could take your mind off of what happened. Listen to some music or go to the gym and let things cool off.
3. Get to the root of the problem
Many couples are dealing with an endless cycle of arguing. That’s because they fight over things, then make up thinking they’ve put it all behind them. But the truth is the problem won’t go away until the underlying cause is addressed.
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That being said, it’s never about the dirty dishes in the sink. The issue is usually something much much deeper that once solved, will make way for peace and bliss.
How often do you and your partner fight?
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