The narcissist has become a sort of an iconic anti-hero in our culture. We’ve all dealt with such people, whether at work or in romantic relationships. If we don’t know much about how this character behaves or what they’re about, we could get confused in our interactions.
But once we begin to learn the big motivator behind their actions, it all makes sense. And then we wonder: are they capable of love? Of actually stop being so self-absorbed? Are they capable of honest feelings? Do narcissists care about their partners and family at least? The problem is a bit more complicated than that. So the answer would be ‘yes’ and ‘no’.
Psychologists claim that the narcissist may show passion and care in the early stages of a relationship. They may shower you with gifts and flowers, they may even turn out to be charming and romantic. But there’s a catch.
That kind of passion and excitement is always directed at their own projections, expectations, fantasies; it is not a love of another person, but of themselves.
So there you go. So although they may feel they are in love, they can hardly remain in love because they lack the range of emotions necessary to actually feel, experience love at a deeper level, and give love.
If that’s not sad enough, here are 3 other brutal truths about narcissists:
1. They use others to achieve their own goal
Their goals usually fluctuate but all are related to their sense of self and their image in society. In other words, monuments could be built to their self-centeredness. When they no longer need you, they will discard you like they do an old shoe, without any remorse.
2. Manipulation is their middle name
Most of them are very skilled in the art of manipulation. Others do what they can. What matters is that they are fully aware that they’re doing it and it can even become addictive. Once they start, it’s hard to stop because they get such a rush when getting what they’re after.
3. Nothing is ever good enough for them
Maybe because of faulty parenting, maybe because it’s just how they are. What is clear is that they are rarely satisfied with anything; they want more and more sometimes involves material stuff or more admiration and praise. They need that high from always accumulating more, often at the expense of others. Cold, heartless overachievers.
Stay away from them!