No matter if it was mutually agreed upon or not, a break up can wreak havoc in our emotional life. Here are some things I tried to do to make the healing process a bit smoother. It was not easy and there are always withdrawal symptoms, but I promise you there is life outside a failed relationship.
1. I acknowledged the pain
Ignored pain is returning pain. So you’d better take the necessary time to grieve your loss. Otherwise, all the bottled up emotions will come to the surface when you least expect them. And in uglier ways. I tried really hard to just be with my feelings, without denial, and to not repress anything. Of course, memories kept coming back. But this phase doesn’t last an eternity, although it may feel so.
2. I tried to maintain healthy routines
Eating and sleeping are not things you can skip. You need all your strength to get through a major breakup and giving in to destructive tendencies is only going to make things worse. So focus on a radical self-care routine that will redirect your focus on you and your needs, instead of those of your ex.
3. I limited my contact with my ex
You could be one of those people who stay friends with your ex. Which is great, if you can really handle it. But maybe until the emotional waters clear, you should avoid unnecessary contact with the one who hurt you (or that you hurt). No contact rule exists for a reason. Stalking them on social media will only keep you stuck so make sure you’ve cut any ties with them.
4. I talked my way through the pain
Talking about your pain helps. You know that. But you might feel ashamed of your vulnerability. You have nothing to worry about. A true friend will understand and will be there for you. Weirdly enough, I became more outgoing after the breakup. My conversations with my friends got deeper and more meaningful. That’s how I learned who was there for me and who wasn’t.
5. I have forgiven them
Maybe the most difficult thing you need to do is to forgive your partner and to forgive yourself for the part you played in the breakup. Remember that only genuine forgiveness can set you free.
Heal at your own pace! Please share this!