The problem with being obsessed with pleasing others is that you can lose yourself in the process. It can even lead to an emotional breakdown. Here are 5 things you can do in order to feel more comfortable in your own skin.
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1. Ask yourself what do you really fear
The starting point of any self-discovery is to ask yourself some tough questions. Why are you bending over backward to please others? What do you fear would happen if you don’t? Why is the prospect of being different terrifying you?
2. Don’t feed your inner critic
Our inner critic can be sometimes very loud and aggressive. It can make us do things we really don’t want to do just to please others. The solution is not to repress its voice, but to reason with it.
3. Accept that there’s no shame in being different
We are taught that we should do everything in our power to fit in, to blend in with the crowd and not draw attention to us. That being different is dangerous. In reality, we are all different and faking agreement and conformity won’t take too far.
4. Learn to say no
Saying no from time to time to social obligations or to helping others doesn’t make you a bad person. Sometimes, you just cannot help that friend move or go to the airport. Learn to pause and ask yourself first if you are really up to doing what you feel obligated to do. Say yes only when your help or compromise doesn’t come at the expense of your self-care.
5. Explore your gifts
Discovering and exploring your inner strengths and gifts will make you feel more connected to what you really are. Doing those things you love doing, as a job or as a hobby, will make you feel more free and more in touch with that part of yourself that you normally hide. Please, share this!
