A codependent relationship is an unhealthy relationship. Here is why and how you can know whether you are in one or not.
The problem with codependent relationships is that they are one-sided. They imply a dysfunctional dynamic, in which one partner always gives and the other always takes. In such relationships, there’s no mutual support or encouragement, there’s only one person manifesting their love through perpetual sacrifice or assistance.
If you want to know if you are caught in a codependent relationship, check up these red flags:
1. You always say yes
“No” or “I don’t know” are perfectly acceptable answers. You don’t always have to say “yes” to your partner. You need to give yourself permission to refuse giving assistance when you are not comfortable with your partner’s requests.
2. You make excuses for their behavior
If you find yourself often explaining to your friends and family why your partner does certain things, you should ask yourself if the problem lies with those who don’t understand their behavior or with the behavior itself.
3. You consider their happiness more important than yours
This is a toxic attitude, since in good relationship both partners should work to make the other happy. It’s not that you shouldn’t devote yourself to making them happy. It’s that the effort should be mutual.
4. You are basically an enabler
If much of your time and energy goes towards saving your partner from situations they create for themselves, you enable them to continue an unhealthy pattern of behavior. They are responsible for their own problems and their solutions and it’s not your job to fix them.
5. You let yourself be manipulated
Manipulation means open threats, lies and emotional blackmail. If your partner fights dirty and does everything in their power to get their way, you are manipulated. And chances are you already know this.
6. You are not yourself anymore
Differences are healthy. Putting the differences aside in order to make the relationship work is tricky. If both partners negotiate and compromise, everything might solve itself in the end. But if you are the only one who has to forget their true identity, dreams and hopes just to please the other, this is a define red flag.
7. You feel that your partner is taking advantage of you
Your partner should appreciate and celebrate your good qualities, not use you. If you feel that the only role you have in the relationship is to take care of the other, to fight their fights and to please them, your own happiness clearly doesn’t count.
Don’t ignore these red flags! Please, share this!