For some people, being left behind by a loved one is a real nightmare. They become empty shells of the people they used to be. They feel lost, unable to trust others and can’t imagine themselves loving again. Why is that?
1. They are deeply insecure
People who have a tendency towards anxiety, who have low self-esteem and are deeply insecure see a break up as the confirmation of their worst expectations. Maybe they were neglected as a child, maybe they were even abandoned by one of their parents and their partner leaving them is the reopening of an old wound.
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2. They’ve put all their eggs in one basket
Having believed that they finally found the perfect partner, the one that is worthy of their love and trust, they have eliminated other relationships from their lives. They neglected their friends and family members, they abandoned their passions and concentrated only on the relationship with their partner. And when the latter left, they discovered that they are now isolated.
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3. They fear being alone
Some people will tolerate almost anything so that they wouldn’t be alone. They need somebody in their lives to make the noise in their heads go away, to calm them down when they become anxious and to reassure them. When that somebody leaves, there’s nobody left on whom they can count.
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4. They define themselves through the relationship
There are people who when they are in a relationship they completely change their personality in order to accommodate their partners. They begin having the same likes and dislikes, to listen to the same music and watch the same movies. So when the break up occurs, they are left with all the painful reminders of a life they don’t have access to anymore.
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5. They fear failure
There are people for whom making a mistake is inconceivable. They pride themselves in being perfect, in never making a mistake and always making the right decisions. A failed relationship is therefore an invalidation of these core beliefs about themselves. In that moment, they feel that their identity is unraveling: who are they if they are not perfect?
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