It may be hard to admit this to ourselves, but there are many ways we are afraid of being in a serious relationship. We desperately want to fall in love but at the same time we dread the idea. Yup, it’s perfectly understandable though. Being in a committed relationship can turn your whole world around.
It can also make you feel you have more to lose. So sometimes we choose to hide the fact that we long for finding love. What we do instead is hold on to our defenses thinking it’s better if we stay away from the complications that arise with a new relationship. Here are 4 reasons why people are afraid of love.
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1. We idealize it.
When we have an image of the perfect partner for us, it can be hard to measure those expectations with reality. The truth is love is idealized everywhere we look: on TV, in movies, on the internet, in advertising. But relationships are never just rainbows and butterflies. Just keep in mind that nobody’s perfect.
2. Love makes us feel vulnerable.
Being in a new relationship can make us feel exposed and vulnerable. And this means we have more chances to get hurt and rejected. This is probably the main reason why many people choose to stay away from relationships. Love can challenge our most inner selves and make us put our defenses down and that can be scary sometimes.
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3. With real joy comes real pain.
This is a life principle that also applies to romantic relationship. There’s no way you can have the good without the bad. You cannot select your emotions and choose to feel only happiness. So if you want to have a meaningful relationship, you will have to accept that there will be times of sadness too.
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4. Bad past experiences.
When we’ve been hurt in previous relationships, it can be very difficult to get back on track and start believing in love again. Because of hurtful past experiences with their ex-partners, some people come to associate love and being in a relationship with loss and hurt. But not all is lost. It takes time to regain our sense of hope but it doesn’t mean it won’t happen.
The best way to overcome these fears is to first acknowledge them – only then can you truly move on! Please pass this on to your loved ones!
