The Difference Between Being In Love And Being Attached

Being in a relationship doesn’t always mean we’re in love with that person, especially these days when relationships have become more transient. But it so happens that we like someone, we’re dating them and we may even commit to a relationship.

But how can we tell if it’s the real deal? We all want to experience that love that will change our lives forever, the kind of passion that will make all the bad stuff go away. As rare as that is, it happened to many of us.

MORE: 3 Signs Your Partner Is Emotionally Detached

But most of the times, we’re just attached to the person we’re with and there’s no spark. Here are the key differences between being in love and being attached.

1. Love is liberating, attachment is controlling

Real love is about freedom, the freedom to be who you truly are, without any fears that the other might judge you. Often, when we experience attachment, we tend to make choices for our partner and try to run their lives.

MORE: When We Search For Our Soulmate, We Look For These 3 Things

2. Love is selfless, attachment is selfish

This is probably the major difference between loving someone and just being attached to them. When there’s no real love, we tend to put our feelings and well-being above the other person’s. And that’s where most relationships have issues and eventually collapse.

3. Love is ego-reducing, attachment is ego-boosting

Love has nothing to do with the ego, on the contrary. When we’re in love, we become more empathetic and more understanding of the other person and the world around us. Being ego free can be one of the most magical experiences ever.

MORE: Why You Should Never Give Up On Someone You Love, Even When It’s Hard

Sadly, many relationships thrive on ego-boosting, but that isn’t how love is supposed to be.

4. Love is everlasting, attachment is transient

Love can last even after a relationship has ended or despite many problems a couple may have had. It doesn’t die off just because the other person is no longer willing to commit. Attachment goes away quickly when we realize we weren’t in love in the first place.

MORE: Grieving: 5 Ways To Find Meaning After A Major Loss

So then we go on looking for the next person who might make us feel like ‘we’re in love’. But it’s a trap, an almost never-ending circle. Moreover, true love is about forgiveness.

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