This is something we’re not strangers from. Picture this scenario: you’re going out with this really nice guy, the spark is definitely there. You enjoy each other’s company, everyone’s all smiles. Then he asks you out again and again…
And suddenly, it looks like things are becoming more serious. You feel that there might be something more down the road because the chemistry is amazing and you get along so well. So you start fantasizing about the future of this or the idea of a potential long-term relationship.
You start making plans in your head about the new possibilities ahead of you. You’re thinking this may be it. I mean, all the signs are there and they indicate you should be with this man.
And as soon as you’re making all these plans for a future together in your head, you notice something. The guy in front of you is starting to pull away; he seems less engaged and begins to distance himself.
Why does this happen so often? What went wrong?
The odd thing is that when a woman loses interest in a guy, they can usually pinpoint the exact reason. Maybe they weren’t as intellectually stimulating or too boring, too self-absorbed, and so on.
But men can’t always tell why they suddenly lose interest in dating someone. That’s because what’s going on is very subtle and this baffles men just as much as women.
But here’s what’s happening:
During the first dates with a guy, your vibe is making them enjoy your presence. You are cool, laid-back and you’re just having fun. Then, you start getting excited about the possibilities, you invest in a potential future of the relationship.
At this point, your mind becomes focused on what could be and you lose the present moment. You start seeing the guy as the one who will fill all the voids and who will complete you. Then when you become attached to this fantasy, your insecurities surface. And as it happens, you try to cling on to the other person.
Needless to say, this will sent your guy a whole different vibe. Although they can’t fully understand what’s going on, they will act instinctively. And their intuition will tell them to back off. Because the whole going out thing stops being natural. It becomes means to an end.
So that’s what’s at play here. It’s also hard to catch this exchange of energies from its infancy. But we hope we can manage it with a little more awareness.
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