When things end between us and our partners, everything feels overwhelming and heart-wrenching. And in that state of confusion and complete chaos, we’re looking for answers. We desperately hang on to the idea that there has to be more than this. We need to give the breakup a meaning.
In other words, we need to have closure. Sadly for us, we may never get it. We may never fully grasp the ending of a great relationship, out our fingers on it and call it ‘closure’. Simply because it doesn’t exist.
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Here’s what we should all know about closure so that we can finally find peace.
When someone we know dies, we grieve their loss; more than that, we attend their funeral. This is a ritual that is meant to help people externalize their grief and reminisce about the time spent with the person they all lost.
When we break up with someone, studies say that we experience the loss as if a loved one had died. But we’re obviously not going to literally bury the gifts we got from them along with things that remind us of the relationship.
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It would help with the grieving process if we could physically bury our memories; maybe then we’d find it easier to move on. But it doesn’t work that way.
This is why relationship closure is a false funeral. It would mean burying the part of ourselves that was with them and that’s impossible.
It’s only our minds trying to make sense of what happened, give it a beginning and an ending. In reality, there’s no such ending.
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You can only choose to make peace with not knowing, with not getting all the answers. With accepting that the memories will stay with you for as long as you’re alive.
And maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all.
What do you think? Make sure you check out our next post as well!
