That day will come. You will feel as if struck by lightning, out of the blue. Out of a choice you once thought it was the right one: leaving the person who gave you everything.
She was the one who would have given her all to make amends. To restore the balance you had, the beautiful strong connection. To go back to what made you the perfect couple. She had enough love inside of her for the both of you. And yet, you chose to disappear, to not try harder.
Yes, you two may have been arguing. You may have hurt each other at some point, maybe you were both broken already from previous relationships. None of that mattered for her because she was willing to fight, to make compromises.
You may cross paths again one day, only for you to realize how much she has changed.
If she looked at you with love and admiration, now she’s looking at herself that way. You forced her to take that step towards healing. You opened her eyes to the act of radical self-care. And she made it through.
Even if you once thought she wouldn’t be able to overcome what you two had, she succeeded. Now that you’re out of her life and out of her heart, you see things differently. Because there is something about someone you feel you lost. Someone you walked away from only to find yourself back later. You want to feel loved again, the way she could offer you that.
That’s when you remember all the things you miss about her. Every conversation, how she would ask you about your day. How she always texted you whenever something reminded her of you. The way you shared what you cared about the most, whether it’s music, movies.
You will begin to miss her even more as you realize there aren’t many people out there who genuinely care.
Especially these days. You will find sweet what you may have once found annoying. Because what you thought was being needy, was in fact caring too much. If you thought she lacked confidence, it was because she was completely vulnerable with someone who did not value it.
You will miss her more when you realize she never really stopped trying making it work. It was you who stopped, who took her for granted. And you will have to live with this regret from now on.
You will miss this person who invested a lot of energy and effort into the relationship. You will miss someone who really wanted what’s best for you.
Her absence and her silence will only make you realize how badly you hurt her. And how there may be no turning back. You will also realize that she may meet someone who will cherish her the way she wasn’t cherished before.
You miss her but you can’t even find a way to say “hello”. You wouldn’t know where to begin. Maybe you’ll meet again one day and you will see reflected in her eyes all the hurt she’s been through. Look closely, see if there’s any love left too. And if it is, know you are very lucky indeed.