Family is as important for us as it is difficult. Sometimes just surviving a family dinner is a tremendous ordeal. We long for the connection, the intimacy, but we are overwhelmed by the other’s personalities, plans and weaknesses.
But it’s our family and we have to survive it. How can we be smart about it and handle any situation, no matter how tricky it may be?
The first thing to do is to be aware of what’s going on around you, to correctly identify the problems you encounter.
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To truly identify what makes your family life so difficult is not as easy as it may sound. Given our strong emotional attachment to it, we may be inclined to misrepresent the nature or the source of what bothers us or makes it impossible for us to function properly in the ecosystem that is our family.
Also, it’s clever to know exactly what role you’re playing in a certain situation. To ponder how your own choices and personality traits have influenced the situation that now has become an obstacle to your well-being.
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In other words, don’t play the blame game, but be honest about the dynamic of the relationship.
For things to change, to stop being burdened by things that you cannot totally control, you may have to try:
- conveying clearly what’s bothering you
- having a different attitude to the same problem
- getting some distance from a certain situation
- establishing your life goals and keeping them
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All this may be easier said than done. But making small steps in this direction is actually easier than constantly living with sadness, anxiety or anger.
Somehow we have to make it work. Why not try the above? Please share!
