How I Realized It Was Not Love After All

How to figure out when exactly one falls out of love and steps into the neediness stage? Along the way, the feelings of unconditional love convert into something restrictive, where love is earned under certain conditions and getting is far more important than giving and sharing.

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When in love, your entire body should emit positive vibes, your soul is peaceful and your mind is connected to the metrics of the relationship. Yes, those butterflies in the stomach do kick the moment you catch a glimpse of your lover and they cool off only after giving love and not expecting anything in return. Because that is true love, not being focused on getting attention and love but on giving.

You must be straight with your feelings because sooner or later, emotional dependency will take hold of your mind and body, making it a lot harder to break yourself from the relationship or to think crystal clear about it.

When I answered ‘Yes’ to most of these questions, I realized I was not in love after all but emotionally dependent on my partner.

1. Are you making the person you’re dating responsible for your happiness, worth, and safety?

2. Do you feel a knot in your stomach whenever you imagine your life without them?

3. Does a feeling of exasperation flood your body at the prospect of being single?

4. The fear of being alone makes you turn a blind eye to many red flags?

5. Do you feel anxious when they don’t call or text?

6. Are you really in love with a product of your imagination instead and not the real person?

7. Do you want to change them? Are you trying too hard to make them become somebody else, something that you want them to be?

8. Is your prime concern the way they treat you and not how they truly are within?

9. Do you feel empty and lonely unless your partner is with you, giving you approval and attention?

10. Do you try to control them in order to get them to do what you want?

Please don’t fall into the same trap. The quicker you realize it’s not love but merely dependency on your partner, the better. Proceed searching true unconditional love until you find it or it finds you.