Breakups are raw, no matter the context. They may leave us in pieces, lost, confused, angry; in other words, we turn into a tangled ball of emotions, most of them negative. So how do we cope? And most importantly, how long will it take until it’s over?
In the first few days post-breakup, sometimes even weeks, it might seem like we’ll never manage to overcome this emotional trauma. The feelings of rejection, loss, grief, abandonment are just too intense and they manifest all at once, strongly. It’s as if a big dark cloud is hovering above our heads and we have no control over its fate. It’s just there, looming and threatening to never leave our side.
But research in this field has led psychologists to believe that it takes about 11 weeks for us to feel slightly better about the entire experience. So no, it will not last forever, and no, you are not alone in dealing with this. We will get through this and you’ll come out stronger and wiser in the end.
The study results tell us that after about 11 weeks, we develop stronger coping strategies. So in a sense, it takes a while for us to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And what a tunnel this is.
However, this stands true for short-term relationships. It takes much longer for long-term ones or marriages, but there is still hope.
Despite this, let us remind ourselves that as individuals, we deal very differently with our emotions. Some of us have more developed coping mechanisms or a more positive attitude in general. This element alone will greatly affect how each of us experiences loss. It also matters if you have a strong support system. Knowing you can count on your friends and family is a crucial thing.
But recovery isn’t easy. It may feel like a trap at times, like you’ve completely lost your sense of identity. Which science also confirms so worry not. You will be able to restore your sense of self by focusing on what matters to you. Being involved in activities you enjoy will help tremendously, especially coupled with healthy sessions of crying. For me, that was one of the most significant ways of coping.
So take your time to heal as there’s no rush. Believe you will get there and that you will have grown a lot in the process. It’s worth all the pain. Please share!