There are many occasions in our lives when we observe the following paradox. We tend to have clear ideas about what others should do when making an important choice in their lives, but when confronted with similar choices we are paralyzed and do not know what do.
Why is that we can be so sharp and wise when it comes to helping our friends to make good decisions, but we can’t do the same for us?
One obvious and simple answer is that it’s because it’s about our lives. We care too much about the outcome, we have invested too much effort and thinking to give a simple and rapid answer to a dilemma.
Or we want to be true to ourselves, but sometimes we do not know what part of ourselves we should listen to. Should we give priority to our rational mind? To our intuitions? To our emotions? What part of ourselves would be more suited to answer this particular question? And how much time can we spend on this decision, since thinking harder seems to make the answer we need even more blurry?
One way to solve this kind of dilemma is to ask for advice.
Go to someone who knows you well and you trust and ask them what you should do. They can help you weight the situation and come to a better conclusion.
Or you can advise yourself.
This means looking at your problem from an outsider’s perspective. In other words, if a friend came to you with this particular dilemma, what would you advise him to do? What options are not real options at all, but mere delusions? What options would make things easier in the moment, but have no real application in the future? Is this plan going to hurt you or others?
Treating your choices as if they belonged to somebody else can help you see things from another perspective and therefore make better choices.
Make the right choice and share this!