We’re all looking for that kind of ever-lasting love that will keep our souls alive when we’re older. We’re looking for the kind of love that will last despite facing many hardships. We know in our hearts that love exists because there are very happy old couples out there who have proof.
However, many of us seem to experience breakup, loss and divorce despite our wishes for something special long-term. Here are the 5 stages of love and why too many stop at stage 3.
Stage 1: Falling in love
This stage is all about the feel-good chemicals in our bodies. Falling in love with someone is a process that floods us with endorphin and dopamine. Science tells us that falling in love has the same reaction in our brains like being on cocaine.
Everything is just wonderful during this stage. There’s chemistry and attraction and the promise that the two will be together forever.
Stage 2: Becoming a couple
This is a time of strengthening the bond and learning more things about the other. It’s the stage when we feel loved, cared for and just happy. The “I” disappears and turns into “us” and “we”.
Stage 3: Disillusionment
This is the stage when most relationships collapse. It’s when things start to go bad all of a sudden, when we realize that our partner isn’t perfect. We begin to think this isn’t what we wanted and because we feel less cared for and even hurt, we want out. There isn’t as much intimacy as before because there’s no connection anymore.
Stage 4: Creating real, lasting love
Most people stop at stage 3 because they think it’s the end. They probably think that because the connection was lost, it cannot be regained. But relationships are complex and they require a lot of hard work and commitment.
At this stage, the two people involved get to the core of what’s causing the conflicts and begin to understand themselves and each other better.
Stage 5: Changing the world together
If we can work our issues with our loved one, then maybe we can use that power to change the world for the better. What a wonderful thought.
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