For women and men alike, having a good sense of humor is an attractive quality in a partner. But can we use humor when we’re in a relationship and fighting?
Psychologists say that it can go either way. Depending on the type of humor used and the type of personality that the other has, a funny remark can diffuse the tension or it can make the other explode in anger.
It’s a risky business. So should we still try it?
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Yes, if you know your partner well enough.
First of all, there are 2 types of humor:
1. Positive
This is when you make fun of yourself, use inside jokes and emphasize the ridiculous situation you are in.
2. Aggressive
It’s usually when your sarcasm is directed towards the other. It’s about poking fun at their shortcomings and placing yourself on a higher moral ground.
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So if you are going to risk it, make sure you use the kind of humor directed at the situation or yourself, not the other.
Second of all, you have to know your audience. If your partner is an anxious one, laughter might ease the tension and make them feel relaxed.
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But if you use aggressive humor, they might feel even more sensitive and insecure. It is likely that they will respond with even more virulence, since they feel the need to defend themselves.
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