I’ve never heard of someone being on a first date and not being nervous about it. Seducing another person, getting them to like us is a scary prospect.
Because a first date is basically an audition for the role of the long term partner, we try to be at our best behavior. But bragging about your high paid job or exciting adventures may not the best approach.
Making someone like us is more likely to happen if we convince them we have a good relationship with ourselves.
Which means that we acknowledge and accept the fact that we are imperfect human beings. We are not suggesting to be rude or whine about everything. But showing the other that you are aware of your flaws and that you can handle your shortcomings with grace and strength can make them more comfortable with their own person. It shows confidence without being too self-involved. But most important, it signals the fact that on the long run, you can be a reliable partner, who takes sincerity and self-improvement seriously.
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If you can do the same when it comes to your potential partner, your chances for a second date increase. This part takes more finesse, since making fun of yourself may be endearing, while making fun of a person you’ve just met can be seen as rude. But the idea is to not overwhelm the other with compliments and adoration. They know deep inside they are not perfect and they would be glad to share their own vulnerabilities. Make them feel safe and give them the opportunity to show you who they really are, the good and the bad.
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By hinting at the shared frailty and imperfection, you reassure them that you have realistic expectations and that you can handle any situation that may arrive in the future. And this can create a sense of deep connection, which is actually what most people really desire. Please, share this!
