The things we say to children can shape their whole future. They are vulnerable and impressionable and what we say to them can damage their development. Here 5 thing people say to children on a regular basis that can have lifelong negative effects.
1. This is life
When confronted with difficult situations, children have a hard time coping. If you tell them that this is life and there’s nothing they can do about it, this will teach them that they should accept anything that happens to them. This makes them even more powerless than they already feel and will transform them into a compliant adult in the future.
2. Because I said so
This kind of answer teaches the child that his curiosity is irrelevant, that he should not question anything and especially not people with authority. Making your child believe that his questions are not worth answering will kill his inquisitive spark.
3. Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?
By saying that, you make your child believe that he is not enough. This complex of inferiority will stay with him during the adult years and will prevent him to believe in himself. Not to mention the fact that it will create unnecessary brotherly rivalry. All your children need to feel equally loved.
4. You’re driving me crazy
By saying this to a child, you make him feel guilty and responsible for your emotions. This is burden too heavy for a child to carry. In the future, he might not be able to express himself for fear of making others feel bad.
5. What’s wrong with you?
This is a question a child cannot answer and shouldn’t be confronted with. It makes him feel an outsider in his own family, ashamed of who he is and even more because he cannot really understand what he did wrong.
Be careful what you say to your child! Please, share this!